No one likes to think of dying. It’s not the most fun thing to do. But, the reality is that once you are dead in the body, you are dead. Of course, I also believe in eternal life through Jesus Christ, so I just know that once I enter into Heaven, I’ll be 5’10”, skinny and able to reach the top shelf in the kitchen.
Seriously, preparing to die is something most people avoid as much as possible. It is very scary and no pun intended but also morbid. Yet, we can and should prepare for one area so that things are taken care of when that day happens.
Many people thinking about insurance tend to put off the all-important need for life insurance. We have no problem discussing our automobile, health or home insurance. That is no big deal, but we delay when it comes to life insurance. I guess the reasoning is simple: No one wants to talk about death.
September is Life Insurance Awareness Month, and while I am confused about all the different types of policies one can choose from, I can share a nightmare I personally went through because of not having it.
I clearly remember the day I received a phone call in Nov. 2014, the week before Thanksgiving, from a social worker telling me my mother was being placed on Hospice. I was sitting at my desk at The Columbian-Progress, where I was working as the production assistant at that time.
My mother had an extreme case of COPD. She was short and round. A very heavy chain smoker and has been disabled for several years. Even though she and my stepfather knew the dangers of smoking in itself and with oxygen present, it never stopped either one of them.
The week of Thanksgiving, my husband, Jeff and our two youngest children traveled to Baltimore, Maryland. The trip was very nice for the most part, and I’ll save that for another column. The day after Thanksgiving, a caseworker from Hospice came to the house for the initial intake. I was sitting with the social worker listening to my mother answers all the questions. I already knew most of the answers until she dropped the bomb: she didn’t have any life insurance.
My father worked in the insurance business his entire adult life. There was never a doubt. We all knew we needed it. So it never occurred to my brother or I, that she would let her policy lapse.
I asked her what happened, and she said she couldn’t afford it anymore. I asked her why she didn’t mention it to anyone, and she just shrugged.
Just five days later, she died. Unfortunately, we had not had a chance to begin looking for alternatives to help with the expenses.
It was around midnight Wednesday/Thursday when the call came in. The facility was in downtown Baltimore. Not only was I told my mother had passed, but they needed to know who to contact to come take her body.
First off, we were not prepared for her to pass so quickly. Secondly, I know nothing about the funeral homes in Baltimore other than they were a dime a dozen. Third, it was the middle of the night, so I couldn’t even contact anyone at our local funeral homes to see if they had suggestions on who to use.
The facility gave me the names and numbers of a couple of places, but they needed so much money upfront before they would do anything when I called. Again my brother and I had five days’ notice, no time to be prepared for this. After discussing the situation with my brother, we had to make the heartbreaking, heart-wrenching decision to leave my mother unclaimed. That literally meant she would be taken to the state morgue and her body disposed of through them.
Now my mother and I had a crazy relationship, but the thought of her laying in a cold morgue somewhere unclaimed tore at my heart. Despite things, she was my mother, and she deserved so much better. Within a couple of hours, I headed to Jackson to catch a flight to Baltimore to be with my brother and stepfather.
Having to tell her living brothers and sister that there wasn’t going to be a funeral was hard. It wasn’t because we didn’t love her; we just could not afford to pay that much money.
In the end, the regular social worker assigned to my mother left a voice mail while I was on the plane and said she thinks there might be a way to at least claim her. She had spoken to mom about donating her body to a program, and my mother was agreeable, so in the end, her body was donated to science and eventually cremated. Her remains were then sent me. It wasn’t what I would have wanted for her, but at least I was able to claim her.
This nightmare could have been avoided had my mother let us know about her situation with life insurance. We knew she wanted to be cremated, but I would have loved to have given her a funeral service.
My family all has life insurance, even our children. Of course, we want to all grow old and have a good full life, but if life throws something unexpected at us, at least we are prepared.
I hope my friends, you are prepared. Please spare your family the same nightmare I faced. -
Susan Amundson is
news/features editor of The Columbian-Progress. She may be reached at (601) 736-2611 or
samundson@columbianprogress.com.
