Like many people, I really enjoy traveling. Even after growing up in a pipeline family and actually living in 44 different states by the time I was 16 years old, I still like visiting and seeing new places.
Whether it’s a destination that’s close enough to drive to, or so distant that it requires an airline flight, just getting away for a little while is usually good for the mind and soul.
Last weekend, my wife and I had the opportunity to fly to California to visit our son who’s stationed at the Port Hueneme Naval Seabee Base. It’s was perfect timing, since it encompassed Father’s Day, and we haven’t seen each other since our last visit about three years ago — so it was definitely time.
Even though I’ve flown many times for both business and pleasure, my stress meter still gets cranked up a few notches every time I fly. It’s not that I’m nervous or scared about the flight itself, but rather all the aggravation, the frustration and the hurry up and wait that is 100% guaranteed whenever you’re thrown into the fray that’s known as public transportation.
It was already bad enough before the Covid pandemic, being packed into tightly cramped quarters next to total strangers and sacrificing your personal space for hours at a time. Adding restrictions like mandatory masks only increases the misery, and there’s no way to socially distance when you’re basically “spooning” three passengers per row (like a can of Pringles potato chips).
Most of the commercial aircrafts I’ve traveled on typically seat anywhere from 140 to 190 passengers — so we all have to share that temporary experience of seeing, hearing and, yes, smelling, the same things for the duration of that flight. I can assure you that not all of it is pleasant.
Our round-trip itinerary was a direct non-stop flight from New Orleans to Los Angeles (and back), so we avoided any chance of a missed connecting flight or layover delay, etc. That is always a good rule of thumb, and worth the slightly higher ticket cost, to fly non-stop whenever possible.
Another aspect of flying that’s gotten even worse since Covid is the security check-in process. It now takes considerably longer, so instead of arriving at the airport an hour or so ahead of time, the TSA now requires you to get there at least two hours early.
All the waiting around and tension creating circumstances wouldn’t be quite as bad if they could only provide terminal seating that didn’t feel like it came off some kind of medieval torture device. The standard terminal seats and benches at most airports are about as comfortable as sitting on a cast iron skillet covered with a Kleenex.
Our flight was just under four hours long, so they don’t provide you with an actual meal, just a couple of snacks along the way. If you’re lucky (as we were), your plane will be equipped with tiny TV screens in the headrests, which helps divert your mind and makes the time pass by faster.
Not if, but when, you have to use the restroom, it’s like pulling teeth to work your way out of your seat row, climbing over other passengers, into the aisle and to the rear of the plane where a tiny hard plastic “relief closet” awaits your visit.
The landing, as well as the take off, is pretty cool, plus you get to feel the sensation of your inner ears pop from the changing pressure as you ascend and descend from about 36,000 feet up. Another rule of thumb is, when possible, only bring a carry-on bag and avoid checking any luggage, because that requires you to go down to baggage claim and wait for yours to arrive on the carousel and stay at the airport that much longer.
Luckily, upon arrival, our son was there this time to pick us up, so we avoided having to rent a car or pay for an Uber ride. But then getting away from the airport and onto the freeway was an entirely new level of stress because California traffic is absolutely off the charts.
They don’t even measure driving distances by miles, but by travel time, which can easily be lengthened by a vehicle accident or breakdown, and can instantly grind traffic to a halt for hours.
At first I thought it was just my imagination, but I truly believe the highway lanes in California are about a foot narrower than anywhere else. It often appeared like vehicles were so close, they were about to clip each others’ side mirrors as they passed.
Finally, after reaching his home, we were able to relax and wind down. Our actual five-day visit went well, and we enjoyed the two main things that California has to offer beyond most other states — its beautiful and natural scenery and its wonderfully comfortable climate.
Other than that, in my personal opinion, California’s list of cons far outweighs its pros. For instance, compared to here, the price of gasoline is more than double and the cost of living is almost triple.
The people out there are nowhere near as friendly, which might have something to do with them living on the edge of the continent along an earthquake fault line that could snap off at any time and send them into the Pacific. I suppose that would make me less jovial, too.
Our return trip was basically uneventful, and, besides a six-hour delay at LAX, it was a repeat of the adventure out there.
Overall, I think our trip to California is the epitome of the phrase, “It’s a nice place to visit, but I wouldn’t want to live there.” There really is no place like home, and I’m glad to be back here. -
Danny O’Fallon is the publisher of
The Columbian-Progress. He may be
reached at (601) 736-2611 or
dofallon@columbianprogress.com.
