Have you ever heard a certain name — maybe it was a product, or a person, or a place, whatever — and it left you scratching your head astonished at how and/or why anyone would or could come up with something so outlandish (or let’s just call it...ridiculous)?
I suppose a major reason is the desire to make that thing or person or place stand-out from the crowd, to be different and unique, which it does — but that’s not necessarily always a good thing.
These days, you can’t watch TV for more than five minutes without being inundated with repetitive drug commercials — just one after another and there’s no escape by switching the channel because another one (or even the same one) is on the next channel, too.
They’re like gnats that are impossible to exterminate, but what’s worse are the drug names. The “actual pharmaceutical” names are way too long and complex for most people to remember or even pronounce, so they’re all given nicknames.
Some sound funny or weird, but they’re all ridiculous nicknames that lend no clue whatsoever about what the drug is designed to treat. You might get lucky sometimes if the ad narrator or actor mentions what the drug is for, but there’s never even a hint in the name itself.
From a marketing aspect, I understand their strategy. The names are meant to be catchy and memorable, but I discovered that it’s against the rules (I assume the FDA or some government tentacle) to create and use a drug name that “claims or implies” that it has some level of superiority or advantage over a competitor that offers an equally similar product. For instance, using terms like “max, super, best, etc.” are forbidden in the name.
Most commercials seem to share a common theme of people, or maybe couples or families, in a myriad of different activity scenarios that show them sad/sick and then happy/well (which I consider the subliminal message they’re sending us to imply the before-and-after effects of taking that drug).
I recently decided to do a research experiment and jot down all the drug names that were advertised over one weekend. Now I admit, I do switch channels a lot, but who doesn’t? Even with 100+ channels available, it’s still hard to find anything to watch.
Between Friday night and Sunday night (I wasn’t binge-watching the entire 48 hours), but I saw a multitude of drug ads, including several that were duplicated. I ended up writing down 37 different prescription drug names (excluding any over-the-counter products).
For easier reading, I have arranged the names in alphabetical order. See if any of these sound familiar (and feel free to pick your favorites ranked on stupidity). This could even be developed into a trivia board game — see who can accurately identify which drugs treat which illnesses:
Abilify, Cialis, Dupixent, Eliquis, Elmiron, Enbril, Entresto, Entyvio, Farxiga, Humira, Jardance, Kisqali, Levitra, Lunesta, Neulasta, Novartis, Nucala, Opdivo, Optiva, Otezla, Ozempic, Prolia, Rinvoq, Skyrizi, Stelara, Trelegy, Tremfya, Trintellix, Viagra, Viviscal, Vraylar, Warfarin, Xanax, Xeljanz, Yervoy, Zarxio and Zoloft.
Another annoying trait these drug ads share is the list of possible side-effects, which often sound even worse than the condition you’re trying to treat. A medication that’s supposed to help with skin irritations “might” cause you to grow horns or an extra toe. It’s the unknown that’s the most scary.
Also, towards the end, they say to ask or tell or check with your doctor about trying it. When’s the last time you went to the doctor and “told’” them what drugs you’d like to try (because it looked good on TV and could possibly cure what’s ailing you)? That’s like taking your car to the shop and telling the mechanic what’s needed to fix it.
Places, like certain towns or businesses, are also well-known for having strange names. Some might be pronounced exactly as-spelled, while others require a degree in phonics to say the name out loud. I won’t list any here (to preserve integrity and avoid embarrassment), but I’m sure you know a few that fit this description.
For people, the sky is the limit for choosing names (unfortunately). Some names are family-oriented and passed down from generation to generation, while others can be so unusual they push limits of the imagination. If your name is so odd that you have to spell it (or write it down to show people), then your parents went too far.
I guess it’s similar to the theory that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Not everyone will like or appreciate every name, nor should they. There’s no doubt that naming a child is a very personal and preferential decision, as it should be. The sad part is, the kid has no choice in the matter and they’re stuck with it for life (short of going through the court system and expensive procedures to change it).
With all the available names in the world, it’s clear to see that some people are determined to create their very own new ones. What a shame — poor kids.
Danny O’Fallon is the publisher of
The Columbian-Progress. He may be
reached at (601) 736-2611 or
dofallon@columbianprogress.com.
