My whole life I’ve dealt with the same question, in one form or another, every time the weather turns cold: “Son, why in the world aren’t you wearing a coat?
Once when I was in elementary school, there was a drive to provide winter jackets for needy children. Seeing me in a T-shirt, they asked my mother, who was a teacher at the school, if our family needed some aid. She explained that, yes, I had a coat at home, and, no, neither she nor anyone else could convince me to wear it.
Even though this has been a decades-long issue for me, I recently had a new experience here in Columbia. Walking into work one morning since fall finally arrived in the last couple of weeks, a homeless man sitting outside remarked to me, “Looks like you need a coat.”
I noted some irony in that situation, but it was nice of him to think about my welfare.
People will probably be bothering me about this until the day I die, although I’ve always wondered why they really care. I’ve never confronted anyone else about why they’re wearing a coat or not or about any aspect of their dress.
But still they press me.
Older people tend to be the most dumbfounded by my sartorial decisions. We’ve all experienced how as people age they like a warmer environment. Maybe at your grandmother’s Thanksgiving dinner you feel like it’s you being roasted rather than the turkey. Or you wonder how that nursing home affords to pay its gas bill when you’re sweating five minutes into a visit.
This phenomenon makes it where they think everyone ought to enjoy the same levels of heat. So if you walk into church on a cold Wednesday night with just a shirt on, to borrow a real-life example, prepare to be hounded.
For me, there’s no one, strong reason why I don’t care to wear a coat in most circumstances; it’s just a combination of little things.
First, it’s a pain to tote one around. You’re constantly coming inside and out and you’ve got to take it off and put it back on, hang it up and find it again, keep it from falling on the floor and getting trampled or spilled on. I’d rather skip all that.
And that leads me to my next point: How much time do most of us usually spend outside on cold days? Most of the time it’s just a couple of seconds between the house and car, the car and work, etc. I can deal with the cold for a few seconds. This is South Mississippi after all, not the frigid banks of Lake Erie or frozen tundra of northern Canada.
The exception, of course, is people who work outside for a living. But if you’re doing hard work outside, you’re body is burning calories and producing heat.
The absolute worst time for me to wear a coat is on the golf course. I’m a dedicated golfer who has played through snow flurries and near-freezing temperatures, but I can’t stand to have my swing restricted. Just give me a couple of Hot Hands to put in my pockets (to ensure feel for the club, which is so crucial to any golfer), and I’m ready to tee off in just about any weather condition.
The funny thing is I really have a low tolerance for being cold. I like sitting in front of a heater and wearing thick socks. But the coat, to me, is just not the best means to achieve the end of being warm. n
Reach C-P Editor Charlie Smith at csmith@columbianprogress.com.
