Helping people deal with mental illness is a passion for Valerie Aikens because of circumstances she dealt with in her own life. She doesn't like seeing broken, hurting people.
She uses Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT, believing that if you can change your way of thinking, you can change your whole life. She said CDT helps with anxiety, depression, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and other mental health issues, such as schizophrenia.
"If you are always thinking negative things," Aikens said, "and you are always focusing on negative things, that's mainly what's going to follow you. The 'what if' negatives are what is going to cause anxiety. If you look for the 'what if' positives, positive things seem to occur because you are focused on that. We use Socratic questions to challenge the negative thoughts."
Socratic questions verbally probe a person's irrational thoughts so they can become more aware of them and challenge those thoughts as true or false.
Therapists also use CBT to help clients deal with issues they want to address with others using the empty chair method and to practice for events or discussions they want to prepare for in advance.
Aikens had a nephew that committed suicide in November 2021. She said she remains unsure why he had to make that permanent decision for temporary issues that were going on. She said he tried to reach out to his sister some and told her how he felt but never let her know how he really felt and how bad it was. He camouflaged and always made jokes, but he was cracking up on the inside.
She suggests that anyone considering suicide to reach out to loved ones, mental health professionals or pastors and truly talk about how they are feeling and not hold anything back. She stresses getting an understanding when discussing things and not making assumptions.
"Most of the time when people get to that point, they just want to stop hurting. They need to know that this too shall pass," Aikens said. "Do not make a permanent decision for a temporary situation that won't last forever."
Aikens said those who grieve should reach out to others who are grieving, focus on the good memories and not the fact that they are gone, focus on the people you still have in your life, do things in the memory of that loved one and talk about them. That's what helps people heal.
She suggest deep breathing, focusing on the positive, relaxation, meditation, journaling, imagery and facing your fears for anxiety. Imagery is closing your eyes and focusing on a place or scene that is positive and safe for you, such as the beach or mountains. She also said to find things using each of your five senses. That would be something you can smell, taste, feel, hear and see. Vitamin D is also essential for positive mental health.
"Anxiety is usually caused by thinking of something that could possibly happen, that hasn't happened, that probably won't even happen," she said.
Aikens is a licensed professional counselor and a certified mental health therapist, and she works with adults at Pine Belt Mental Healthcare in Columbia. She has been a therapist for more than 12 years.
"I love my job because I love helping people," Aikens said. "If I can help just one person not to have to go through hurt, that's why I love my job."
Aikens graduated from Dexter High School and William Carey University. She said she would go back to Dexter in a heartbeat because it was a wonderful school.
She is married to Steve Aikens, manager of Ramey's in Columbia. She has five children and many, many grandchildren.
